six ways women can sabotage a relationship

Hi lovelies


its been a long while now ladies, here want to share with you a secret to get your guy or keep him.

It’s about 6 ways women can accidentally sabotage a relationship. Read it, take an honest look at yourself, and see if you identify with any of the behaviors…

But be sure to stay with me until the end of this email, because I’ll be back with some really good news about the #1 way to get your ex back ...OR get over him for good (and move on to someone even better!) if you decide that's what's best for you in the end.

Here’s Stephen…

Most women intuitively understand that no guy can be manipulated, emotionally cajoled, or Jedi mind-tricked into staying in a relationship.

Yet at a subconscious level, men and women will engage in all kinds of behaviors to plug up their insecure fears that one day their partner might suddenly stop loving them, or run off with someone else, or decide to retire to a Tibetan monastery, scrub pots, and remain celibate for the rest of their days.

But any of these possibilities could happen at any moment.

Our partner has to not only choose to stay once, but keep choosing to remain with us every single day.

So naturally, some people get insecure at this thought and wonder, “How can I make him stay, and make sure he won’t leave?”

If this is the question you’re asking, you just might not be mature enough for an emotionally healthy relationship yet.

People who attempt to "lock" their partner in only end up sabotaging the relationship with their behavior.

They either:

(a) Force the guy away (and repeat this cycle with every next guy that comes along)

(b) Create a relationship in which their man is filled with constant resentment and bitterness over their suffocating behavior

Or finally, they may get a third option:

(c) End up with a guy as needy and insecure as they are.

The truth is, all of these possibilities can be avoided.

But to do that, you have to detect where you’re going wrong first.

Here’s a checklist of behaviors the self-sabotaging woman engages in that drives guys away:

1. She finds subtle ways to pull him away from his friends

Examples: She runs his friends down, shows jealousy any time he hangs out with them, or suddenly gets in a pouty mood when he tells her how much fun he had on a night out with them.

If you push him from his friends, you’ll isolate him socially on a rock where it’s just you and him.

For a while that can feel comfortable. Then quickly it becomes annoying. Then suffocating. After enough months on "couple island" with not a friend in sight, most guys will choose to throw themselves back in the ocean.

2. She gives him less love when he achieves success

Examples: When he becomes successful, she tells him he’s "changing" in a bad way, or that he’s too driven by money, or she becomes less loving towards him, acts insecure, and worries excessively about him leaving.

Any of this controlling behavior sets up a dangerous dichotomy in his head, where he thinks it’s a choice between his girlfriend and his career.

It’s not always the case that he’ll choose the career, of course, but the smart person in a relationship knows that when their partner does well, it’s important to celebrate “our success,” not resent “his success.”

Take the ride together, and no one has to fear being left behind.

3. She tries to be placed before his family all the time

Examples: She acts personally affronted because he’s chosen to see his parents for a weekend or gets in a mood when he chooses to spend a holiday with his siblings.

If a guy is close with his family, and you become someone who threatens that, the family will notice fast. And once you turn his family against you, you’ve made some powerful enemies.

Besides, when you find your partner doesn’t put you first all the time in a relationship, that’s actually a good thing.
4. She alienates him from any other female friendships

Examples: She treats every other woman in his life, whether she’s taken or not, as a threat who needs to be pushed into the background as soon as possible. She interrogates him about any female who speaks to him or acts overly suspicious.

If you make him think he has to sneak around or explain himself for spending any time in female company, he’s going to feel controlled and resentful.

I’m not saying all men are saints (nor all women for that matter) in the department of loyalty, but if you feel the need to cut off a partner’s friendships with the opposite sex, it either means he’s not a good enough guy for you to trust him (in which case, you have a big problem already), or you have issues trusting him to be loyal (which will only make him bitter towards you).

Be very careful of turning any conversation about his female friends into an interrogation. Take it from a good guy: We hate being made to feel like bad guys.


5. She makes it his responsibility to "cure" her bad moods

Examples: She makes it his responsibility to get her out of any bad mood and to fix every outstanding emotional, career, and family problem in her life.

It’s nice having that bed of comfort in a relationship, but if you lose the ability to cope with everyday life without him, he’s going to now feel like your 24/7 emotional babysitter.

There’s no bigger killer for romantic connection than feeling like someone is dependent on you in every way. His desire for you is dependent on your ability to keep a sense of independence and control over your life.

6. She sacrifices her own plans to feel further intertwined with his life

Examples: She forgoes important career opportunities, letting her own plans fall by the wayside, attempting to only live for him and not follow her own form of success.

Deciding to sacrifice your own plans for someone else is another form of subtly controlling your partner. It’s a way of trying to create a false sense of closeness and feelings of guilt in your partner by attaching yourself to their life, instead of living your own.

You forgoing your own interests in life won’t suddenly make you a bigger part of his. It causes you to lose all the interesting pursuits and facets of your life that made you attractive in the first place.

* * * * * *

Many people find themselves guilty of one or two – if not more – of the above behaviors without realizing it.