MY SUICIDE NOTE

I’ve read about two suicide cases in two days.

One was about #segun and the other one about the UNN student who had a first class.

A lot of people’s comments have been so cruel and all they call them is cowards, selfish, weak and so many other unprintable names.

These guys and many more who have committed or attempted suicide didn’t want to die. They love life like you and me but all they wanted to was to end the pain and dying looks like it’s what gives them the avenue to do that.

Pain can alter you forever.

Pain can make you unrecognizable to yourself.

What we also need to know is that everyone’s threshold for pain is different.

I have had two babies and I can tell you that the last pain nearly took me out until the gynecologist offered me an option for Caesarean or Epidural Injection.

Meanwhile, some people can handle labor pain well even for the next 48 hours without any form of relief.

Does that make me less of a woman? NO!! It just means I have a low threshold for pain and I cannot withstand what some other woman can physically.

It’s not my choice. It’s not because I am weak or lazy. It’s because it’s my make up. We are all made differently.

So, instead of calling these people names for killing themselves, it’s better for us to help them through their pain when they cry for it.

Not by quoting scriptures at them or calling them weak.

Not by rebuking them for wanting to kill themselves for a man or woman.

Not by telling them that they are stupid because they want to kill themselves because of a low JAMB score.

Their pain doesn’t really stem from that basic incident, it is their interpretation of the event.

The one who failed JAMB thinks “I am failure in life. I am never going to make it. I am doomed for suffering forever. Everyone seem to make it except me”. So, this interpretation or feeling of failure didn’t start in a day. It’s an accumulation of interpretation of series of events until they climax.
This is the story of relationship coach " Lara kudayisi"
My message today is EVERYONE HAS THE TENDENCY TO COMMIT SUICIDE WHEN YOU GET TO YOUR LIMIT. My recommendation is that you try all you can do not to get to your limit.

HOW??

1.) DON’T SUPPRESS YOUR PAIN: A lot of people suppress their pain because that’s what they have been taught.

The African who expresses emotions have been made to seem weak. Other people will tell you why you should thank God that it is not worse thereby invalidating your pain and how it hurts you.

Express your emotions at every time you can. Crying is not weakness. It is a very natural reaction that is very therapeutic.

2) PURSUE HEALING WITH ALL YOUR POWER: Don’t think that you are a superman and that heartbreak will not get you. It may not get you now but one day it will show up where you least expect it.

Anytime you go through pain, create time to heal from it. Get help from professionals to heal from it. Don’t overestimate your capacity of dealing with your pain.

3) DON’T NUMB YOUR PAIN: There would have been more suicide cases today but for sex, drugs, alcohol, church and so many other activities that people indulge in so that they can numb their pain.

The more you numb it, the more you postpone the evil day.

4) SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO GET YOU:  Don’t continuously be around people that would constantly belittle other people’s issues because they think that their own is worse.

Don’t be around people that would put more pressure on your capacity because they are numbing their own or suppressing it.

Make sure you find your own people. People who don’t shut you down. People who accept you for who you are. People who don’t talk down at you or make you feel small. I can tell you this works like magic.

5) GET HELP: There is no shame in admitting that there is a problem. You are not the only going through what you are going through. You won’t be the only who will seek for help because you need it.

Growing up in Nigeria alone can be very dysfunctional and not a lot of people can handle it. Don’t let your environment stifle the life out of you.